Thursday, December 26, 2013
So my superhero training is still under way, but of course x-mas happened. I did pretty good. We had Lasagne x-mas eve with Caesar salad. Not on plan but sometimes you need to enjoy a good thing when you can. I have been really unhappy with the transition (back to food) class. I am disappointed the instructor never introduced our group when we joined the group in progress. The class before this one dealt with emotions of why we eat and all of us worked as a team. This class is breaking the personal bonds we made and is more about what kind of food to eat and how much. I guess I need to suck it up and get it done with now. I missed last Thursday and the instructor stopped by where I work on the weekends and reminded me I missed class. Is she breaking my balls or is she really concerned? The class is a real wet blanket now. I recommitted back to my path today. I watched Kick-Asss 2 and realized the hard part is next. Not just eating better but getting more exercise. Later today I will get on the elliptical wheel for a bit and soon bike rides. I got a Baby Taylor Guitar for x-mas that will be fun to take with me wherever I go and keep my hands busy and my brain focused. We missed our nephews but it was fun. Most of the family had me painting things to give the others for the last few months and it was fun seeing the surprised faces when the got their personalized art. I gave a painting I did of my grandparents (who has passed on) laughing and wearing each others shirts to my dad. Hopefully it gave him some good cheer. He just lost his best buddy and is having a tough year. My mom lost her mom this year too. I gave her a sun I painted for myself once to cheer myself up. I hope I did some good this year. I am learning to be a better person. Sharon as usual made us all feel at home and her decorations, cooking and Holiday cheer made it a real good Christmas. I could not have got through this year without her guidance and love. Chet and Coco were good elves too. 2014 is looking to be a good year too. I feel like I am finally on the rebound from a bad depression. We have only just begun to live... (Karen Carpenter?) Watch out for the man and don't take s*it from jive turkeys....
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
This week the topic seems to be is Santa black or white, brown, pink, etc... I painted a santa card this year. I listen to James Brown's Santa's got a brand new bag cd and Ray Charles Christmas cd most years so maybe for me he is black. I painted a suntanned (California style) Santa. Most folks thought he was black. I can go with that. TV wants you to worry about things that don't matter. Like Miley Cirus. That girl might be a mess. She might be making money for being a mess. Do you care? We do because she is human. We make mistakes. Calling someone fat is now a big deal (on TV). Do we change the word fat on food labels? Bullies are bullies for a reason. Many folks have anger, depression and fear it's all a matter of what you make of these feelings. Depression will kill you fast. Most fat people are not weak they have depression usually. It's good not to teach hate. It's great to teach caring for others. It's o.k. if you feel angry. The important thing is communication. Through therapy I have explored the reasons of my fears and depression. It was like ripping a band aid off a cut. It took a long time to start healing (I think it's healing...) Life is never perfect. As humans we strive for perfection, but our beauty is often in our flaws. I have taken some small steps into getting healthier. Now they are big strides to a better life. I want to embrace this new life. I celebrate this better health rather than the actual pounds lost. Sure I am happier. Not because thin folks except me better... because I physically feel better. Because I am healthier. I may live longer and because of that grew self confidence and I celebrate my new health. I see on TV folks showing faked encouragement for fat people and challenged folks. They seems so uncomfortable showing support for them probably because they truly feel (or have been taught) that different is "Weird" or wrong. I watched a TV talk show today where this girl had been bullied so much her mom was taking her out of school to home school her. Then the folks at the show gave her toys and a cruise? What about finding her a new school or a college fund? I decided to turn off the TV and blog. Now I am thinking I should ride my bike for a bit. My Santa is all the colors of the rainbow, but don't worry if yours is not. In case you are wondering, my bike is green... and it aint easy being green. Life is funny, so laugh at it. Forgive yourself for farting in the supermarket. Take it easy!
Monday, December 16, 2013
I am ready for the fun to start. Had a small pity party for myself this week. The usual one I give myself at Christmas time. I got this really cool drawing from Emily Jones who is totes ma-goats for making it for me. It is a view down the lane my booth is on at Crafted. It really gave me some go power at Christmas time! I ordered the new plastic made in china bat car to fit my bat figures as a gift to myself for being a good boy this year... did I need new toys? Well no, but I am ready for some fun that's not food related so this is a nice reward. I always wanted a set of bat megos and now I have that and yes, I am going to play with them and maybe forget about the forthcoming zombie apocalypse for a few minutes. Who wants to play? Probably those kids who made my new toys. Am I bad for buying them? I have to make my own toys more in the future and be happy that now and then I can make myself smile all on my own. The one thing about Christmas is you don't know how its going to unravel each year. You miss those who have passed on. You tell those still with you that you love them and need them and you wonder if you did the right things in the past and sometimes you get that warm feeling on a cold day (or sunny day if you are where I usually am this time of year) I am happy this town I am in has not made big changes yet. I hope I am ready for that when we get there. I always think so negative. I pet my dogs and wonder how long I have with them instead of just enjoying that moment of petting them... which I need to get back to now (it's a Holiday priority...) and when Sharon gets home.... hey I need some Mistletoe! She has been good for a long time. Maybe the Grinch will give the teachers a raise this year. Most of my family is elsewhere this year and I will miss them, but we will have our traditional Christmas at home in our humble abode. Get to hugging. Where my dogs at?