Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Many people have asked me how the diet is going. Here is the truth. I am kind of scared this time. Not that I am not doing well on it (I am down 45 pounds so far in week 9. 9 more weeks to go...) I just wonder if I can maintain this new path the rest of my life and not let depression get the better of me again. This is my last chance at this and I can not look back this time. Temptation is really on every channel and corner you turn. It is very surreal and David Lynchesque viewing all the ads form this new viewpoint. it has been a long 8 weeks to think of how I got here and how food and depression have been preparing me for an early grave. I hope I am not too late this time. I drink a gallon of water every day on this plan. Water is what I needed most all these years and not food. Also therapy has played a big part in getting my mind ready this time. So much food is full of sugar and salt and preservatives. Burger ads are driving me crazy. Pizza ads too. I don't eat at Wendy's or even have a Sonic near by and Pizza Hut is the last place I would pick to get Pizza, but these ads are played every 10 minutes on TV. So I started watching less TV and did other things (like blogging right now) I bought a bike to ride. I decided to get back to work in some way too to keep busy. Enter my new booth at Crafted in San Pedro where I will be all day Friday thru Sunday with no TV painting and practicing guitar when I am there. You know what they say about idle hands, right? The weight I have lost so far has given me more mobility. Allowed me to have better hygene (trust me, I won't go into it, but things are better) I don't struggle nearly as much getting off the couch. I may have to have surgery after I am done due to sagging skin (I do not believe in cosmetic surgery, but I may need surgery due to skin conditions from the excess skin, yuck!) I will still have burgers and pizza one day, but they will be made by me and have healthy options on them. I will eat quality food from now on. This is my 4th and last time on this diet. It is much slower and a bit tougher this time as I am older and the weight is harder to take off. The reason I am doing well is I have run out of chances. It's life or death this time. I am sorry for all the stress I have cause people over the years worrying about me and my health. I hope I am not too late to realize my full potential I am capable of in life. I do feel for a change I am finally winning. To all my friends and family who have stuck by me all I can say is I am giving this all I have, and thank you for not giving up on me. Give hugs, hold hands and love your friends and family and most of all forgive yourself and move forward.
So Arab from Love Canal drove by the house yesterday (all the way from O.C.) and brought me all kinds of great stuff for me to paint at my new space at Crafted. We talked about the old punk days, Todd Barnes, Ron Emory, Jack's Books (you should get both American Demon and Untamed they are so awesome. Truly great writing. Not many dare to go where Jack does in his books.) Arab told me the Flaming Lips were playing at the Pacific Amphitheater where he works, but I did not hit him up for tickets as I am too busy this week working on the Crafted booth (but I do love the Flaming Lips! and they are awesome live) I felt I owed Arab so I gave him an Alley Cats Poster and an original painting I did of the Hedora (smog monster from Godzilla). It is amazing how these old punks become dads and turn out to be such great friends to have. Arab is always so generous and goes out of his way for me all the time. Jack said when I worked on his book that he would take care of me, and in the end he did. A man of his word. (his kids drew an awesome drawing on the box for me and was maybe the coolest thing I ever got in the mail.) I have only know these guys a short while and they have been so kind to me. I am so lucky to have good friends. The booth will be running this Friday and I am so ready for this and now I have lots of stuff to paint when I am down there. Arab and I plan on a bike ride soon. Maybe we will get Jack and family to go with us too. I went to the Torrance flea last Sunday and picked a few things for the booth space and found a tin Fire Chief car, a tootsie 69 ford ltd, a T-Totaller hot wheel in red. Sharon ran into John Ransom on her way back to the car (sorry I missed you John). It has been a busy week and I am up already at 3 am typing this out on Tuesday morning. Getting an bit anxious about the grand opening, but I am sure it will go fine. Took care of getting business insurance this week and all the other details are done and paid for.